Sort of "this is me sam tyler the curse of manchester polise which is the forse i am in. it was uterly wet and weedy but i had a accident and wen i woke up and now i get to kick crims with ma grate frend hunt. this is chris skeleton he is a gurl and sissy. he skips around the plase and sais hullo clouds hullo sky."?

What I would need is someone to do me the drawings of sam et al in the style of Ronald Searle...