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300, or how many lives must a film wear down, before we can be called free.
300
A – do they shag each other in this film or do they gloss over it?
C – They do only wear leather g-strings and oil.
A - … I'm looking forward to this film.
* * *
Leonidas, of the Athenians – those philosophers and boy-lovers can resist...
A&C - *cough*
* * *
*Leonidas climbs a mountain*
C – didn't I see this on Top Gear once?”
A&C – oh my God, it's Emperor Palpatine!
* * *
*The mystics betray for gold*
A - Isn't that Aztec gold?
C – It's cursed, certainly. We're not getting away from those films, are we?
* * *
Queen Gorgo - “It's what a free man should do.”
C – Drink!
A – Oh. God.
* * *
For Sparta, for freedom, to the death!
C – Drink!
* * *
Leonidas - What can you do? Sparta will need sons.
C – I think he said “Fuck off.”
* * *
A – Leonidas – that's as in the chocolate?
C – Yes.
* * *
Queen Gorgo - Come back with your shield or on it.
C – I thought that was normally said by mothers to sons. It's getting rather Oedipal.
A – and we all know a song about that.
* * *
Leonidas – Spartans, what is your profession?
Spartans – Hwroah! Hwroah! Hwroah!
C – US Marines, apparently.
* * *
A – Do you think the sequel will be called “301”?
C – Blog it. No, 3002
* * *
Voiceover - Only one man keeps his Spartan reserve.
C – yes, the rest are whooping it up in the mosh pit.
* * *
*We witness the Persian punishment, which seems to involve a tree*
A – Oh, I know what that reminds me of – the tree in Sleepy Hollow.
* * *
Queen Gorgo – Freedom isn't free.
C – starts singing “Freedom isn't free, it costs folks like you and me.”
* * *
Generic Persian - Our arrows will blot out the sun.
Generic Spartan - Then we will fight in the shade.
C – Thank you! That's actually accurate.
A – Blimey.
* * *
*The Persians are driven over the cliffs*
A – They've fallen in the water!!!
* * *
*Leonidas meets Xerxes*
C – Blimey, you don't look anything like your picture.
* * *
Leonidas – Unless I've missed my guess, we're in for a wild night.
A - *chokes*
C – *sings* “Slash, slash, slash, slash, slash, slash, slash, slash”.
* * *
Narrator – And the man thinks himself a God feels a very human chill up his spine.
A – that'll be the vast amount of metalwork he's wearing.
C – I shouldn't like to be him in a thunderstorm.
* * *
A – It's a rhino!
C – Or a stegasaurus from this angle.
* * *
Leonidas – An age of freedom!
A&C – DRINK!
* * *
Queen Gorgo – Send an army for liberty and justice, for law and order,...
A – she likes Law and Order?
C - *drinking because liberty counts as freedom*
* * *
*Thirty pieces of
A – Oh, now Xerxes looks like his picture.
* * *
*Leonidas gets on his knees, cue a full frontal of leather-be-pounched Xerxes*
A – Ewwww.
C – I really didn't need to see that.
* * *
Narrator: [Leonidas]' roar is long and loud.
C – His dental work, exquisite.
* * *
C – Leonidas does a decent Saint Sebastian impression.
* * *
*arrows fall*
C – Overkill or just enough kill?
A – Just enough kill.
* * *
C – Arrows fell, everybody died.
A - *sings* Among the fields of barley.
C – One-eyed Jack returns the Evenstar, among the fields of barley.
* * *
One-eyed Jack – remember us. He did not want songs or monuments.
C – Nor films, at a guess.
* * *
One-eyed Jack – thirty thousand free Greeks
A – Do you get one with every pack of cornflakes?
C - *chokes on wine*
We are now rather toasted. I'm voting for bed. C is voting for Troy. May the tiredest soul win.
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Yes, this was the one we watched in Classical Civ... (Our teacher had a somewhat...laissez faire attitude to the syllabus. At least, in the half term left after we'd finished our ASs.)
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Tom Lehrer - songs for *every* occasion.
I'm not sure whether letting your pupils watch 300 in class counts as "in principle, very cool" or just cruel and unusual punishment!
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We also watched Captain Corelli's Mandolin, and I think I recall making a start on Troy. It was a fairly good month, between that and realising that oh! hey! I liked learning Greek...
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Mind you, I don't think I'm going to escape Troy - even though I've seen it once before. The only antidote to that I can think of is watching Alexander after.
Perhaps we could organise a film watch (sort of on a par with Pros Watch) - then we could review* online afterwards.
* read: bitch about
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My daughter and her friends refer to such gatherings as MST3K parties. They do it every time a Twilight movie comes out on DVD.
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Generic Spartan - Then we will fight in the shade.
C – Thank you! That's actually accurate.
A – Blimey.
Yep! That's now in the dictionary, under "Bad-ass".
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Bluebottle : The hunchback
Eccles : One eyed Jack
Bloodnock : The Mystic / Council
Herclues Grippipe Thin : The treacherous Spartan
Jim "Thigh's" Moriarty : Yet another treacherous Spartan
Persian King : Ray Ellington