m31andy: (sparkly!Doyle)
2009-12-26 09:28 pm

and pause

The fic, it is done.

If anyone actually fancies reading a Professionals / Twilight crossover, written by two-thirds of the PsychoSamatic Cycle team, then it's here:

Beyond Light.

We're now off for a well-deserved sherry and a spot of Christmas Pud.
m31andy: (sparkly!Doyle)
2009-12-18 12:41 pm

Now this is one AU I wouldn't want to live in...

You could all tell this was coming, didn't you?

*sigh*

Well, y'all remember the free Fictionwise Harlequin romances, yes? And C did state that Bella is a cipher for the reader, as in the way of every hack romance ever written, yes?

Well, it was inevitable, then. (That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.)

BTW, as I've just discovered, AU/AH in the Twilight fandom means "Alternate Universe" (as usual) and "All Human" (a little different to common fiction practice).

Step into the alternate universe where Bella and Edward rule the cheap and cheerful romance shelves at every airport in the world )

Disclaimer: Links are to the original books, I do not claim to have authored any of the books summarised. These are not Twilight fan-fics but professionally published romance fiction. Summaries used purely for parody. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made...
m31andy: (Default)
2009-12-11 11:51 am

(no subject)

Okay, this is *all* [livejournal.com profile] draycevixen's fault - but I thought I'd venture back over to [livejournal.com profile] twilight_adult (I ran screaming from there after reading the summaries of a couple of fic a couple of days ago) because, and I quote, "I didn't think that it could all be that bad".

Ha. Fooled myself.

Under the cut are some of the summaries from a few fic. I've included links to the fic themselves, just in case. Hey, it's your life (and you'd be much, much braver than I am...) Just remember - the majority of links will go to The Pit of Voles. Click at your own peril...

Because I care too much for your brains )

Please note, of course, I'm not saying anything about the quality of the writing here. I have not, and do not intend to read them...

All these are from the first page of the community. Yeah. I do wonder exactly *why*. Especially when at least two of the fic linked above don't even have vampires in them. But then I thought about what [livejournal.com profile] cuvalwen has said - Bella is a cipher for the reader, in the same generic way as every hack romance written*. So these above are completely interchangeable. Change the names and (very occasionally) re-fudge the history and you've got a genuine Harlequin romance candidate.

Which all just leads me to think of a future where Bella/Edward stories of any stripe are the default for romantic fiction.

And then I weep.

* Yes, I have read them all and yes, I'm way behind on the reviews. If I manage to catch my breath in the run-up to Christmas (say the next six weeks or so), I'll finish them off.