The Ramblings of an Accountant

A cold is apparently a brilliant excuse for getting stuff done that you haven't had time to do already. In other words, I've finished delicious-tagging the Professionals crack_van entries. They are here.

What you can do, oh wonderful friendslist, is drop me a line if any of them are missing tags, are mis-tagged or if you've got any fantastic ideas for other tags, if and when you use the list. When I'm happy they're pretty well set up, I'll mention them on the teaandswissroll comm. (Let me know if there's a n other comm I should mention the resource in.)

I'll continue adding new entries to the list when new stories are recced (I tend to keep a close eye on the crack_van comm) and if/when I get bored/move out of the fandom/die/finally get sectioned under section five of the mental health act 1983, I'll make sure I pass it on so it's a continuing resource for all you good folk who rec.

Professionals Crack Van Delicious Tags

With many, many thanks to mikes_grrl for giving me the idea in the first place.

*and collapse*

And you know what that means...

So please comment below with a fandom (that I'm familiar with) and a book/author/book series (depending on how charitable you're feeling towards me) and I'll give you the parallels. (And, hopefully, will be funny with it...)

Research question - can anyone help?

It's London, 1982, and you want to leave, say, a small amount of cash, an A4 envelope/file full of 'state secrets' and a passport in a location which is accessable at all times, is not too difficult to get into, but is safe enough. Ideally security would be of the "if you have the key you can open it" as I require a third party to be able to access it (with the key, of course) It also needs to be fairly long term.

What would you use?

I suspect lockers at stations (esp. Waterloo and Victoria) would've been in the process of being removed at this time, and even if they were still available, you couldn't get away with having a key to one for three years, could you? They were strictly short term only.

PO Boxes aren't, apparently, actual boxes, unlike in the States and elsewhere. (Which is annoying because they are rather cool, actually!) Has that always been the case?

Bank safety deposit boxes, at least now, are too difficult to get into, require too much ID.

Gym/swimming lockers, I suppose aren't accessable 24 hours? Tempted to use a bathhouse (*g*) but also suspect that you'd definitely not get away with long-term use of the locker and/or the proprietor turning a blind eye to you using it, wouldn't be so impressed when other 'gents' start using it as well.

Thoughts?

Oh, and ta muchly!

Oh, oh - and if you can't guess what this is for, I'd be very, very surprised!

Oh help me, oh wonderful friendslist, I'm in a bit of a bind.

If a person were to be badly injured in the commission of a crime (say, for instance, joyriding in a stolen car...), would there be a police presence when the next of kin presents him/herself at the hospital? Obviously the injured party would be arrested if/when (s)he is in a fit state to be so. But in the meantime? How much of the nature of the crime would be related to the next of kin, if the joyrider was over the age of majority? Would this differ if the next of kin is not a blood relation?

Have things changed in the last twenty years? The incident I wish to write about is set in London in the early 1980s.

Thoughts? Facts? Ideas? Flames?

MTIA!

And yes, to those of you who think you know what I'm talking about. It's that fic.

The fic, it is done.

If anyone actually fancies reading a Professionals / Twilight crossover, written by two-thirds of the PsychoSamatic Cycle team, then it's here:

Beyond Light.

We're now off for a well-deserved sherry and a spot of Christmas Pud.

You could all tell this was coming, didn't you?

*sigh*

Well, y'all remember the free Fictionwise Harlequin romances, yes? And C did state that Bella is a cipher for the reader, as in the way of every hack romance ever written, yes?

Well, it was inevitable, then. (That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.)

BTW, as I've just discovered, AU/AH in the Twilight fandom means "Alternate Universe" (as usual) and "All Human" (a little different to common fiction practice).

( Step into the alternate universe where Bella and Edward rule the cheap and cheerful romance shelves at every airport in the world )

Disclaimer: Links are to the original books, I do not claim to have authored any of the books summarised. These are not Twilight fan-fics but professionally published romance fiction. Summaries used purely for parody. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made...

Busy, busy, busy, so here's some New Scientist content to keep you happy. (Must get back to finding their dodgier headlines. These are almost sensible!)

Terry Pratchett: Fighting to keep the fantasy alive

The prolific author discusses tinkering with science, his battle with Alzheimer's, and the odds of escaping from a crab bucket

Ten inventions that changed the world

To mark its centenary, in June the Science Museum in London had its curators select the 10 objects in its collection that had made the biggest mark on history. These then went to a public vote to find the most important invention of past centuries. Results in pictures, just follow the link.

In (very slightly) related news (in other words if you get why they're related, you're doing well!), I've been listening to Flanders and Swann a lot at the moment. They are very good. I know a lot of my friendslist hold a soft spot for them as well, so I ask you all - can anyone recommend me artists in the same vein as F&S (and Tom Lehrer, of course). Weird Al, unfortunately, doesn't qualify.

(Fic is only about 100 words from being finished. Need to get this month's finance report mocked up and the cash management numbers finished before I can finally look at it. *phew*)

fiandyfic has put up their answers to the latest challenge here.

Give us the title of a story we've never written, and feedback telling us what you liked best about it, and we will tell you any of: the first sentence, the last sentence, the thing that made us want to write it, the biggest problem we had while writing it, why it almost never got posted, the scene that hit the cutting room floor but that we wish I'd been able to salvage, or something else that we want readers to know.

If you fancy challenging us, please comment on the original post and we'll get back to you.

In other news, darthfi has been slightly disturbed by the latest accidental invokation of Rule 34* and wishes to know if there's a rule for "if it's been written, there's a Professionals crossover with it". Any suggestions / rebuttals?

* In the interest of fairness, please note that this is a link to TV Tropes - click at your own peril

Favourite moment of the day so far* - using the phrase "accountant-cum-hitman" in a fic.

Now I want to use it in a work context. But unfortunately the boss is off until next week. Can I wait that long?

Okay, question for y'alls. What do you think an accountant's preferred method of homicide be? (Note: answering 'boring people to death' is not acceptable. I'll be using *my* preferred method on anyone who suggests such a thing.)

* Well, I'm meeting cuvalwen later. I'm sure it'll move down the list...

I've never done one of these before. But what the hell. I could do with some constructive criticism.

THE ANONYMOUS WRITING FEEDBACK MEME