Fear my l33t accountancy skillz

[m31andy]

Favourite moment of the day so far* - using the phrase "accountant-cum-hitman" in a fic.

Now I want to use it in a work context. But unfortunately the boss is off until next week. Can I wait that long?

Okay, question for y'alls. What do you think an accountant's preferred method of homicide be? (Note: answering 'boring people to death' is not acceptable. I'll be using *my* preferred method on anyone who suggests such a thing.)

* Well, I'm meeting cuvalwen later. I'm sure it'll move down the list...

Comments

[white_hart]

Mine would be making their heads explode from the fearsome complexity of my spreadsheets. Although that might be a bit messy. Perhaps I should stick with bludgeoning them to death with a lever arch file?

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

Oooh, blugeoning to death with a lever arch file - I love it!

(I might have to use some of these in fic...)

And hurrah to complex spreadsheets!!!

[peppapig.livejournal.com]

Can't you kill someone with a sharp pencil? Or a PC. I think crushing with a PC from a great height works for me

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

I'm unable to kill anyone with my PC - unless you're going for the "you can kill someone with a penny if you drop it from far enough up" as nothing on my desk weighs more than a couple of pounds!

Sharp pencils. Hmm. Not sure. It depends on where you stick it, I suppose. There's apocryphal tale of the student who stuck a pair up his nostrils then banged them on the desk, driving the points into his brain and killing him. But I don't think that one is true...

[loz]

A sharp enough pencil with enough force to the carotid artery oughta do it.

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

It'd have to be just behind the ear - I think the skin on the neck is too tough to pierce with even a sharp graphite point, normally. Mind you - you can sharpen to a thin blade quite easily, what with the sheet structure of the molecules.

I'd definitely have to think about *that* one.

[loz]

The roll of tape from one of those old-stylie calculators.

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

Ah, but how? Shove it down their throat? Dip it in poison? Strangulation?

[loz]

Garroting!

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

*note to self - buy laminated paper*

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

Double entry stabbing?

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

I think that was the fic I was last reading, actually.

*g*

[icudoc.livejournal.com]

Smothered by a spreadsheet?

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

It'd have to be a big one...

[saintvic.livejournal.com]

Death by a 1000 paper cuts.

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

*giggle* Sounds like most of my work days!

[lunrwolf.livejournal.com]

Depreciation by dismemberment

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

Ah, the true meaning of amortisation...