m31andy: (Dancing Hamster)
m31andy ([personal profile] m31andy) wrote2007-01-23 05:37 pm

bad taste fan-fic

"My name is Richard Hammond. I had an accident, and I woke up in 1973. Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home."

Oh god. I really am going to write this, aren't I?

It works really well, actually. Top Gear started in 1972 as a Road Safety programme. With Angela Rippon. The Hamster was born in 1969 and that is the estimated year of birth for Sam.

I'm so going to hell.

ETA: Actually, I got my dates wrong. Top Gear started in 1977. However, That's Life did start in 1973, which was involved in the wearing of seat-belts. Ooooh. No. Hammond as one of Esther's Nancies. This is getting scary.

[identity profile] rosiedoes.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 05:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh man. I want to read that so bad!

[identity profile] m31andy.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Can you imagine, there he is - sitting completely bemused on set when he starts hearing beeping noises. Then he hears a voice:

"Oh come on Richard, just because James and I weren't there to see your record attempt doesn't mean that you have to sulk *all* day."

(Yup, I'm completely screwed.)

[identity profile] rosiedoes.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I've never actually seen the show you're ripping off, but I love Topgear.

[identity profile] m31andy.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 06:00 pm (UTC)(link)
You've *never* seen Life on Mars? It's the Sweeney. On LSD.

Mmm, Top Gear. Back on Sunday!!!

(Yup, I am happy. Why do you ask?)

[identity profile] rosiedoes.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I've never seen The Sweeney, either.

[identity profile] m31andy.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
The idea of '70's cop shows? Big flares and cute sideburns?

Ah well, it's amusing!

[identity profile] rosiedoes.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Hehehe - it'll be so cute! You must do it!

[identity profile] clanwilliam.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 08:54 pm (UTC)(link)
And funky music. Don't forget the funky music. And SHAADDDUPPPP!!!!

[identity profile] tyrell.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 06:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Only as bad and wrong as this... (http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/cult/a41914/in-video-life-on-mars-returns-to-bbc-one.html)

[identity profile] m31andy.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Bah. I've been wanting to watch this *all* day, but I've not been able to find a vid I can play at work!

Actually, CamberWick Green!Sam may be scary, but Tufty!Gene (in the latest SFX) is scarier...

[identity profile] stuflyer.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes.
Yes, do it.
(the fic, that is, I'm not being filthy)

(actually I probably am; it's what I do)

[identity profile] m31andy.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 07:21 pm (UTC)(link)
It's so, so wrong. But so tasty!

[identity profile] fideal.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
See I've never seen "life on Mars" so when I read that and the reference to sam, I had this whole "quantum leap" scenario going on.

Quantum Leap Spoken Intro:

"Theorizing that one could time-travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Richard (the hamster) Hammond led an elite group of scientists into Yorkshire, to develop a top-secret project known as Quantum Leap. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Dr. Hammond prematurely stepped into the project accelerator, and vanished...

He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Jeremy, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Richard can see and hear. And so Dr. Hammond finds himself Leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next Leap...will be the Leap home..."

hehehe also starring "The Stig", the super computer that powers the quantum generator, Jeremy uses "The Stigs" amazing processing capabilities to try and pin point Dr. Hammond and figure out what he needs to do to make his next jump.

xXx

[identity profile] m31andy.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
So where does that leave Mr. May? Is he the Stig's operator or Sam Richard's wife???

*grin*

This is too cute. We could put the Hamster into various TV shows.

"Dr. Richard 'Hamster' Hammond, a newly graduated doctor is required to set up his practice in an eccentric Alaskan town, when there he forms an unlikely friendship with the owner of the town, Jeremy, who is an ex-NASA astronaut and his best friend James, owner of the local bar."

"Special Agent Richard 'Hamster' Hammond, investigates the murder of a young woman in the strange town of Twin Peaks. Aided by Sheriff Jeremy Clarkson and Deputy James May, they find things are never what they seem."

[identity profile] fideal.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
hehehe with the "Damn fine pie" played by the stig *giggles*

Ohhhhhh Noooesss I have this whole "hammy the vampire slayer" going on now, I am going to spend all evening making up silly places for him to be now, damn you!

[identity profile] m31andy.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
You too?

Hammy the Vampire Slayer - perfect.

(Oh, and I've got the title of my fic - That's Life, on Cars. Hmm.)

How about:

House: Jeremy Clarkson, the sarcastic doctor, supported by his friend James May and his interns the Hamster and the Stig?

And lets not get into "The Three Muskateers" with the Hamster as D'Artangian.

[identity profile] fideal.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 07:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I suppose a "Dead like Me" parody might be just one step to far perhaps??

*snickers*

[identity profile] m31andy.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 07:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, as he *does* have a passing resemblence to Callum Blue. I can *totally* see Mr. May as the Rube figure!

[identity profile] fideal.livejournal.com 2007-01-23 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Bad Andy, bad, bad, Andy; Damn you, I didn't even know this fan fic phenomenom existed until you mentioned it a couple of weeks ago, now look what you have gone and done, the whole concept screams out to my dark and satirical nature, no I will resist, I will, so nerrrrrr!!!!!