Semiopathy

[m31andy]

Is it sad to feel a moment of pride when I manage to achieve a new record of 7 minutes, 15 seconds for setting up a purchase order? (That's from entering the PO, through QA and through the Budget Authoriser!)

Actually, that *is* a rhetorical question!

It's turned into a busy day, what with NAO checks, more urgent work dumped on the team and a couple of crises hitting other members of the office. Thankfully, I've managed to sort out as much as I can, so that's good.

Anyway, a bit of a chuckle.

I was trawling through some of my old documents, trying to tidy up / file and came across a number of old New Scientist Feedback articles on "Semiopathy" (circa 2002). It is also known as semantic vertigo, arising from ambiguous grammar, but I prefer to call it "The Campaign For Suitable Pauses in the Middle of Sentences Strikes Again!!!" (usually in a very loud voice!)

This, of course, is the pathology of deliberately mis-reading signs and notices for humorous effect. The most obvious one of course is the printer "input jam". I've heard strawberry works quite well, but if you use raspberry, make sure it's seedless!

But there are some absolute pearlers:

"Regulations tend to evolve toward greater complexity, George Daughters hypothesises, after seeing the street sign "No trucks allowed" metamorphose into "No trucks between 6 am and 7 pm eastbound on Route 16 on Tuesdays over 8 tons". He claims never to have seen a Tuesday that was an ounce over 2 tons."

"Someone has probably tried to avoid psychiatric-semiopathic tendencies in the warning on the lids of jars of sauce: "Reject if the safety button can be depressed". Note the "can be". Several cruel readers, however, persist in trying, telling it that it has no friends and no hope, before taking it home anyway."

"Above one of the fresh food counters in Linda Death's local supermarket is a sign saying "Sue Your Friendly Fishmonger". But she has no reason to do so, since the fish is always fine."

"Jim Keilthy reports being perturbed by a sign at Romford railway station reading: "Caution: Do not run on the stairs. Use the handrail". He says that despite his best efforts, he couldn't keep his balance."

"Joan Hinchliffe's children were excited by a sign at the zoo saying "Monster Man Eating Shark". But though they watched the shark for some time, the monster man never turned up."

"Jeremy Marshall was surprised to see his local supermarket advertising for a "Frozen Supervisor". No doubt the competition was stiff."

and my absolute favourite, an incidence of "serendipitous semiopathy":

"[A] few months ago Richard Proctor saw a sign reading "Police Accident" and drove carefully round the corner, to find a police car in the hedge."

;)

Comments

[anne-l-davies.livejournal.com]

I feel immense moments of pride when I manage to get an Estate Account to balance first time. Yes, that's right, I'm getting pride off dealing with the finances of dead people. You're fine.

And I sniggered about the 'police accident'.

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

Ah well. These moments of "a job well done" are just not understood properly by everyone else!

The "police accident" had me in stitches for about 15 minutes!

[royhuggins.livejournal.com]

Those are just precious! :)

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

*nods*

I ♥ New Scientist! Their Feedback is brilliant!

[treadwells.livejournal.com]

Wow. You blow me away. I understand that kind of satisfaction. I can get that when I achieve perfect footnote format. Gah. PS. I am so pleased you are having rehearsals here - means I get to see you more often.
XX Christina

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

These little glimmers of "I did that, and it's perfect" is just amazing. I don't think we should be embarrassed about it. Perfection is almost impossible to achieve so we ought to celebrate the fact!

We're enjoying rehearsing at La Tread. Although the 'ghosties' walking around last Wednesday night were a little distraction!

[peppapig.livejournal.com]

The door is ajar

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

Input jam?

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

I've always been a fan of the "Wet Floor" signs and the ones on escalators that say "Dogs must be carried."

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

I do like the "Dogs Must Be Carried" one - it gives me the warm fuzzies.

The Campaign, for your information, has been going since I was in Primary School.

Unfortunately I'm still the only member.

*g*