Book Review: Slow Hands by Leslie Kelly
Sep. 21st, 2009 12:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
m31andyYeah, so I may have mentioned, way, way back in February, that, in the good cause of becoming better read,* I was going to download the free Harlequin books that Fictionwise were touting for Valentine's Day and then review them all for you. Yes, all fifteen of them. And then there was silence.
I bet you all thought I'd chickened out, eh?
No. But I did have major technical issues and also a propensity to not have any time to sit down with my laptop and read. Well, on Sunday I did (Well, ish. I decided that ripping my CDs and sorting out the software issue were important. I finished the CDs but gave up on the software!) So, the first book review is under the cut. Come on, I dare you!!!
Slow Hands by Kelly Leslie.
The blurb:
The plot was very easy to follow – a general comedy of errors, which you can tell from the prologue where you get two girls panicking about finishing a "charity eligible bachelors auction" brochure due to the fact they'd not put faces to biographies. Cue the mix up between our hero, Jake the EMT, and an "international businessman". By the time I reached the main story, "international businessman" had become a euphemism for "gigolo" (is this some Americanism that I don't know about? Because, in my book, "international jetsetter" is not automatically cognate with "male prostitute". Unless one factors in sex-trafficking, I suppose…)
For plot reasons only, our heroine, ice-queen Maddy, buys Jake, but leaves out the date. Jake is intrigued (and also salivating – literally) at the thought of bedding Maddy and so the chase is on. It doesn't last very long.
You can so tell this was written by a woman. The poor Maddy has more screaming orgasms in the first sex scene of the book than I've ever had (and I really quite *like* that particular cocktail…) and she must've been quite exhausted by the time she finally got to the main action, which also has a woman's attention to detail. Our man Jake's, er, man is only slightly about average, but very, very thick. (And there's no details about circumcised/not snipped – though I may have only picked up on that one because I've been reading way too much Man from UNCLE slash recently!) She is very satisfied.
The book does tend to leave off on the sex scenes after that, one or two small ones because now the protagonists are falling in Love. Maddy defrosts, Jake stays Jake and everyone lives happily ever after.
It's a nice, fluffy read, if you've bought into the whole "men protect and cherish women" 'ideal'. For anyone with an ounce of feminist pride, though, it does leave a certain nasty taste in the mouth. Maddy is a closed-off block of ice after her last relationship soured. Only a Real ManTM can save her from that dreadful fate. Jake doesn't change, Maddy does. Forgive me for being a bit bemused here, but I thought that in relationships, you are supposed to grow together? Neither party is perfect.
Though, of course, Jake here isn't perfect. He deliberately continues the charade of being the gigolo, even after he finds out how and why Maddy believes this of him. And his reason? He wants a chance to save Maddy from the Dreadful Fate of being a successful businesswoman whose real best friend is her right hand. Maddy *is* saved, however, and forgives him for his deception (and his hubris). Personally, I think she just covets his nice, thick cock.
Quote most likely to make it into the next![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fiandyfic challenge:
(The quotes will get better, I promise - there's still the Christian Inspirational Romance to read!)
ETA: Oh, I forgot to add - the technical issues are now resolved (as of this morning) so expect more reviews soon!!!
* Or, come to think of it, that may have been a completely different discussion!
I bet you all thought I'd chickened out, eh?
No. But I did have major technical issues and also a propensity to not have any time to sit down with my laptop and read. Well, on Sunday I did (Well, ish. I decided that ripping my CDs and sorting out the software issue were important. I finished the CDs but gave up on the software!) So, the first book review is under the cut. Come on, I dare you!!!
Slow Hands by Kelly Leslie.
The blurb:
This is Maddy Turner's lucky day. The civilized society girl just bid on sexy rogue Jake Wallace at a charity bachelor auction--and won! But Maddy knows Jake's dirty little secret. And it should keep her from trying out her new boy toy. Too bad she can't stop herself from indulging in raw, quite uncivilized sex all the same.... Jake Wallace is utterly bewitched by Maddy--and utterly bewildered. How can this tantalizing woman melt so rapturously under his ministrations one moment, then turn into a haughty queen the next? He's determined to get to the bottom of Maddy's agenda. One slow, delicious inch at a time...Well, it turned out that my first pick was (probably) one of the better ones in the bundle. It's a "Blaze" title, which means steamy, sultry and sexy (and other things beginning with "S", no doubt), something we got in the first 20 pages when the word "cock" was used. Which quite shocked me, to be honest. Well, the last Harlequin/Mills and Boon romance I read was written in the fifties (and I read in the early eighties…) But there it was.
The plot was very easy to follow – a general comedy of errors, which you can tell from the prologue where you get two girls panicking about finishing a "charity eligible bachelors auction" brochure due to the fact they'd not put faces to biographies. Cue the mix up between our hero, Jake the EMT, and an "international businessman". By the time I reached the main story, "international businessman" had become a euphemism for "gigolo" (is this some Americanism that I don't know about? Because, in my book, "international jetsetter" is not automatically cognate with "male prostitute". Unless one factors in sex-trafficking, I suppose…)
For plot reasons only, our heroine, ice-queen Maddy, buys Jake, but leaves out the date. Jake is intrigued (and also salivating – literally) at the thought of bedding Maddy and so the chase is on. It doesn't last very long.
You can so tell this was written by a woman. The poor Maddy has more screaming orgasms in the first sex scene of the book than I've ever had (and I really quite *like* that particular cocktail…) and she must've been quite exhausted by the time she finally got to the main action, which also has a woman's attention to detail. Our man Jake's, er, man is only slightly about average, but very, very thick. (And there's no details about circumcised/not snipped – though I may have only picked up on that one because I've been reading way too much Man from UNCLE slash recently!) She is very satisfied.
The book does tend to leave off on the sex scenes after that, one or two small ones because now the protagonists are falling in Love. Maddy defrosts, Jake stays Jake and everyone lives happily ever after.
It's a nice, fluffy read, if you've bought into the whole "men protect and cherish women" 'ideal'. For anyone with an ounce of feminist pride, though, it does leave a certain nasty taste in the mouth. Maddy is a closed-off block of ice after her last relationship soured. Only a Real ManTM can save her from that dreadful fate. Jake doesn't change, Maddy does. Forgive me for being a bit bemused here, but I thought that in relationships, you are supposed to grow together? Neither party is perfect.
Though, of course, Jake here isn't perfect. He deliberately continues the charade of being the gigolo, even after he finds out how and why Maddy believes this of him. And his reason? He wants a chance to save Maddy from the Dreadful Fate of being a successful businesswoman whose real best friend is her right hand. Maddy *is* saved, however, and forgives him for his deception (and his hubris). Personally, I think she just covets his nice, thick cock.
Quote most likely to make it into the next
fiandyfic challenge:Not just because of how incredibly hard – aroused, throbbing and proud – he was, but at the pure masculine beauty of him.
(The quotes will get better, I promise - there's still the Christian Inspirational Romance to read!)
ETA: Oh, I forgot to add - the technical issues are now resolved (as of this morning) so expect more reviews soon!!!
* Or, come to think of it, that may have been a completely different discussion!
