You know a friend is reading Twilight when...

[m31andy]

... you get a text from the friend saying "I thought the sparkly vampires was scarcastic or something, not literal".

Comments

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Oh, do they know that New Moon has empty pages to represent the emptiness in Bella's soul without Edward?

[kimboosan.livejournal.com]

....you are seriously joking.

Right? RIGHT????

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I AM NOT :D.

Have an explainy bit. And the same woman has also done highly amusing recaps of the series, of all four books, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. Breaking Dawn is the crackiest of them all.

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Of course, I sat m31andy down in the pub and gave her the full details of the wedding, pregnancy and birth in Breaking Dawn, and invited her to guess what bits I was making up.

Halfway through she looked at me and said "You're not making any of this up at all, are you?"

And then I heartily recommended Cleolinda's recaps to her.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I still want to know what Meyer was on when she wrote about the thing that happened between Jacob and Renesmee.

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Well, she doesn't drink alcohol or ingest caffeine, so I'm really wondering too.

Also, you know, the whole C-section.

However, the knowledge that Sparkling Emo Vampire bites pillows while having sex makes up for so much!

[duckyone.livejournal.com]

I have the name of a good deprogrammer.

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Don't you dare! I'm trying to get her to write a Pros crossover where Doyle turns out to be a sparkly vampire!

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

You know that he'll just stand there and sparkle for shits. And then have to blast away the "master vampire" or what-have-you... Cowley is going to be so... ascerbic.

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Nonsense. It's not a proper sparkly AU unless you completely trash all canon characterisation.

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm not turning him into an elf as well.

Although sparkly!rentboy!Doyle is holding some appeal at the moment...

[culf.livejournal.com]

That was my reaction when I found out as well. I was so sure it was just sarcastic bollocks.

[angeweeks.livejournal.com]

And he really does utter the immortal line, "Do I dazzle you?"

You're doubting *that*!?

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

yes.

"Frequently," I admitted. "why, you dazzled me twice just last night. And it was fantastic!"

*cough*

I may have been watching Spaceballs...

Re: You're doubting *that*!?

[angeweeks.livejournal.com]

I love Spaceballs. In an almost dirty way. \o/