Erk. Jesus/Christ ficlet...
May. 1st, 2007 01:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
m31andyUm, spawned from a comment by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jantalaimon, from a pointer to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
bible_slash by vodex and written as an apology to Ian (WOLJ), I present:
The Gospel According tocuvalwen
Chapter One
1. And Jesus was alone in those days, his disciples having gone to a rave in Goa. James and John had promised to be back in fourteen days.
2. But Christ had not gone because he aint gonna go to Goa.
3. Moreover, in that time, he don't dance 2 Tekno anymore. Neither to hip-hop, nor to Electro.
4. And it had been a long time since he had been seen in the spotlight on the dance-floor.
Chapter Two
1. And, Lo! Ten days had passed and he knew not what to do with himself.
2. He had turned water into wine and behold he got emotional.
3. As a newt.
4. But when he woke up next morning he found all the good had gone and he dared not do this anymore.
5. And thus was the reason for Christ's temperance.
6. And then he partook of mushrooms, which he had scored from his good friend John.
7. And then he did behold a big fucking lizard.
8. Which did seem very plausible. And Lo! His faith was sore tested. And he dared not do this any more.
9. And thus was the reason for Christ's temperance.
Chapter 3
1. And then, Lo! He decided to try a spot of self-knowledge. But fearing to see the sacrament lie scattered on the pavement, he did bi-locate himself.
2. And so he divided for the chance of Union.
3. And he saw he was fit.
4. And he did go in unto himself and he knew himself.
5. And Lo! The band did begin to play.
6. And it was as if the arms of angels did carry him.
7. For firstly he was blown away and then there was peace in the valley.
8. And everything was gonna be all right.
9. (I hope...)
(With thanks and apologies to Alabama 3)
And yes, I know we're so going to hell. We heard the gates shut.
I had to write some of this out longhand as the computer was temporarily in use by the other flatmate. You know when you have been online too much when you put html tags in your longhand writing. And you know you've *definitely* been online too long when you insist on closing the tag in order that the rest of the writing doesn't end up in italics...
jantalaimon, from a pointer to bible_slash by vodex and written as an apology to Ian (WOLJ), I present:The Gospel According to
cuvalwenChapter One
1. And Jesus was alone in those days, his disciples having gone to a rave in Goa. James and John had promised to be back in fourteen days.
2. But Christ had not gone because he aint gonna go to Goa.
3. Moreover, in that time, he don't dance 2 Tekno anymore. Neither to hip-hop, nor to Electro.
4. And it had been a long time since he had been seen in the spotlight on the dance-floor.
Chapter Two
1. And, Lo! Ten days had passed and he knew not what to do with himself.
2. He had turned water into wine and behold he got emotional.
3. As a newt.
4. But when he woke up next morning he found all the good had gone and he dared not do this anymore.
5. And thus was the reason for Christ's temperance.
6. And then he partook of mushrooms, which he had scored from his good friend John.
7. And then he did behold a big fucking lizard.
8. Which did seem very plausible. And Lo! His faith was sore tested. And he dared not do this any more.
9. And thus was the reason for Christ's temperance.
Chapter 3
1. And then, Lo! He decided to try a spot of self-knowledge. But fearing to see the sacrament lie scattered on the pavement, he did bi-locate himself.
2. And so he divided for the chance of Union.
3. And he saw he was fit.
4. And he did go in unto himself and he knew himself.
5. And Lo! The band did begin to play.
6. And it was as if the arms of angels did carry him.
7. For firstly he was blown away and then there was peace in the valley.
8. And everything was gonna be all right.
9. (I hope...)
(With thanks and apologies to Alabama 3)
And yes, I know we're so going to hell. We heard the gates shut.
I had to write some of this out longhand as the computer was temporarily in use by the other flatmate. You know when you have been online too much when you put html tags in your longhand writing. And you know you've *definitely* been online too long when you insist on closing the tag in order that the rest of the writing doesn't end up in italics...
